life beyond the well…


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Random Musings: Love

I stumbled across this today, nestled in a notepad amongst other completely unrelated things.  It seems that I was in a funk about love and relationships.  See below:

At the core of every human is the desire for love.  A desire so simple and finite, yet so deep and seemingly unattainable.  And so we search and we question, and we make mistakes in a quest that should be meaningful.  But what if there is no meaning at all?  Is love really worth it?  Why do we bare our souls, our innermost thoughts, desires, and questions only to be left in the cold?  Of what value is my love if it is never reciprocated?  Does your love matter if it’s given to me in a way that I’m not yet able to receive?

Man, I was definitely feeling pretty gloomy.  But if we’re honest with ourselves, we know that love isn’t always peachy keen- it requires work and has it’s gloomy moments.  That said, I’d love to read your thoughts on my random musings.


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But He Knows My Heart…

…I know a lot of people who have said that in relation to their relationship with Christ.  You may know a lot of people who’ve said it as well.  I myself am guilty of saying it, usually to justify some behavior that didn’t completely match up with the intentions of my heart when considering my relationship with Christ.

Yes, He does know my heart.  But when is that not enough?  When does that become an excuse to stay the way we are instead of moving out of our comfort zone to change?

I’ve been thinking about this recently, as I’ve been very frustrated with myself because I haven’t found a church here.  At the same time, I haven’t consistently visited churches to make a decision.  However, I feel that God knows my heart- he knows what I want in a church and what I need…so shouldn’t that count for something?  I don’t feel like it does, because I haven’t put forth the effort required.  I believe that God honors our sincerest attempts to “get things right” (whatever that means, whatever that implies), but those attempts won’t work forever.  At some point, we have to meet Him halfway- or extend ourselves and grow in these sincere attempts.

Since He does know my heart, I have to acknowledge that He knows my good desires and my not-so-good desires.  And that fact alone is enough to evoke change in me, even if I’m not always certain of the best way to go about it.

Just my thoughts…as Steve Harvey would say, “Don’t trip!  He ain’t through with me yet!”