life beyond the well…

Author Archives: erin.almond


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Insufficient Parenting

Let me start this post by saying that I don’t have kids.  Yeah, that’s right.  I’m not a parent.  However, I am a teacher; which makes me the surrogate mother to many students.

I spend the majority of my day with teenagers and I’m struck with how differently they are being raised than when I was being raised.  This doesn’t mean that my parents were perfect- they definitely had faults, and I bet if you asked them, they would admit to making mistakes.  Nevertheless, there seems to be an epidemic of insufficient parenting going around- resulting in children who are disrespectful, lazy, ungrateful, insubordinate, and incapable of making good choices without guidance.

Here are cases where I’ve experienced students who have been victimized by insufficient parenting:

  1. Students have significant others who are allowed to live with them or have overnight visitation.
  2. Students are allowed to get fire-engine red highlights in your hair.
  3. Students are allowed to curse at, yell at, holler at, and put their hands on their parents. Without consequence.
  4. Students have school as their only responsibility, yet they are allowed to underachieve.
  5. Students are allowed to respond by saying “what”, “huh”, or “yeah” as opposed to “Yes”, “M’aam”, or “Sir”
  6. Students are allowed to wear clothes that show off their undergarments (this applies to young men and young women).
  7. Students who don’t know how to wash anything- their hands, the dishes, the clothes- because it’s always been done for them.

I’m sure there are more cases, but those were the first to come to mind.  I can only imagine how difficult it is to raise children.  The amount of love, care, and work required to be a good teacher let me know that parenting is difficult.  Nevertheless, children deserve our best.  They deserve and require limits and boundaries.  There are so many moments where I feel that a child’s life could have been different because someone told them “No.”  It would sound something like this:

  • “No, you aren’t too cute to wash the dishes.”
  • “No, you can’t go to the movies this weekend because you are failing your math class and you need to study.”
  • “No, you will not live in this house and talk to me any kind of way.”
  • “No, you will not just have this because you asked for it.  You need to earn it.”
  • “No, you can’t go to this party where I know that there will be underaged drinking and illegal drug use.”

The bottom line is that it requires effort.  Being your child’s friend is never the answer.  There were SO many moments when my mother reminded me that we were NOT friends or peers, and that we were not equals- she was in charge.  While those moments were difficult at the time, they taught me how to respect authority and understand boundaries.

I promise, if I keep seeing all these cases of insufficient parenting, I’m gonna have to do a parenting workshop.  The first lesson will be: “Your Child’s Problems- It’s all YOUR Fault”.  Yeah.  It’s like that.

Let’s stop the insufficient parenting before we lose this generation.  Thanks.

Until next time…


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Friday Favorites- Books

I’ve always loved to read, and even as an adult; one of my favorite past times is to curl up with a book or a magazine.  One of the best parts of any month is when my Real Simple magazine arrives in the mail and I’m able to take time to read the whole magazine from cover to cover.

I don’t just read magazines, however.  My graduate coursework has me constantly reading articles from journals on education, leadership, organizations, and I try to read news articles every day.  But at the end of the day, I’m in love with books.  Here are my favorite books- those that I’ve read over time that truly pushed my thinking forward and changed my life.

  1. The Bible- As a believer, this is the most important book that I own.  Reading the Bible has given me clarity, peace, comfort, and revelation.  Each time I read it, I learn something new; and I’m challenged to become better.
  2. The Autobiography of Malcolm X- Perhaps in stark contrast to the book choice above, but this book truly allowed me to understand Malcolm X as a person, and what he believed in regards to civil rights and his faith.  Most importantly, I was able to see Malcolm X as he was, and not as he was taught to me or projected to me by my teachers and history books.
  3. The Souls of Black Folk- I didn’t read this until college, and I was immediately struck by how relevant it was, nearly 100 years later.  As with many, DuBois’ articulation of double-consciousness resonated with me.  The idea of the “Talented Tenth” made me uncomfortable, and it forced me to reexamine the role that I, as an educated black woman, play in my community, my family, and the world.
  4. Up From Slavery- I wasn’t a Booker T. Washington fan; and as a teacher, there are still parts of me that subscribe to DuBois’ belief in liberal arts education.  However, I HAD to respect the story and the hustle (if you want to call it that) of Booker T. Washington.  That, by itself, is amazing; and it increased the amount of respect that I had for Booker T. Washington.
  5. A Lesson Before Dying- I’m not sure how I ended up reading this book, but I’ve read it every year for the past 5 years.  It always helps me to adjust my focus as a teacher in a rural area; as someone who graduated from college, left, and then came back to my home state; and it allows me to think about the responsibility I have to educate others- whether formally or informally.
  6. Strength to Love and Why We Can’t Wait- the rhetoric of Dr. King is powerful, insightful, and expresses the need for change much better than many things that I’ve read.  These books are tied because I don’t know that I could honestly choose between them.
  7. The Shack- this book was recommended to me by a friend during a difficult time, and it transformed the way that I viewed and approached my faith. I would HIGHLY recommend this for anyone who needs to view their faith in a different way.

There are MANY, MANY more books that I could list here..and perhaps I’ll revisit this list later on.  However, those are my *top top* favorites!  What are your favorite books?