life beyond the well…

Category Archives: Relationships


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I Wish I Could See Her Shadow

Every year on Feburary 2, news anchors wait anxiously for the groundhog to let us know if we’ll have 6 more weeks of winter, or if an early spring is on the way.  I’m not sure if anyone has ever tested how accurate these groundhog predictions are, but there has to be something to it.

But for the last 15 years or so, I’ve longed to see someone else’s shadow on February 2nd.  I’ve longed to see the shadow of my Granny.  Because you know, if I could see her shadow that would mean that she’s still with us here on earth, that she exists in reality, and not just in my memory and the memories of my family.

My granny was awesome.  Just amazing.  Someone who had more love stored up in her sub 5-foot frame than anyone I know.  I always marvel that each of her grandchildren (and there are more than 20 of us) all felt that we were the favorite- cause that’s how she loved us. Old school, firm love- that was consistent and fair.

You couldn’t say to no to her.  Partially because you don’t tell your elders no, but partially because everything that she was up to was rather compelling.  Whether it was tending to her flowers, making a quilt, pulling out a loose tooth, or cooking something in the kitchen, you always wanted to be near her to learn something…because you could see from her life that she was evidence of Psalm 1:3, yielding fruit, and prosperous in whatever she does.

There’s so much that she taught us- tangibly and intangibly.  So much that I struggle to put into words all the lessons that I learned, things that still guide and impact my life today.  Faith.  Love.  Family.  She embodied all of that and left us with a wonderful legacy and huge shoes to fill.

When I think of her, there are many things I wish for; but mostly, I wish for more time.  I wish that she could have been at my graduations.  At my wedding.  At all those Christmases past.  I wish that when I go to her house, I could find her in the same place I found her for so many years after school- in her garden.  I wish that I hadn’t allowed my fear to keep me from seeing her as much as I could in her last days- but I’m glad she held on so that I was able to hold her hand one last time.  I wish that I had a proper goodbye.  But  more than anything- I wish that I could see her shadow on February 2nd.

Continue to rest in peace, Granny.  We love you and we miss you.


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Be Nice or Be Quiet

I have very little patience for people who say mean things.  I know that sometimes people don’t always mean to, but it still bothers me.  I feel like there are so many areas of life where we hear negative things (especially on the news), that we should hold ourselves accountable to saying nice, positive things to each other.

Now, I will also acknowledge that this is difficult.  There have been quite a few “bite my tongue” or “Lord, hold my mule” moments in my life (or in the last week).  I still have to fight the urge to not pop off and say the first thing that comes to mind when I feel that someone has approached me in the wrong way or has verbally attacked me.  I often tell Preacherman that I’m glad that there’s not a scrolling marquee on my forehead because I’d find myself in some trouble in certain situations.

However, for 2013, I’ve decided that I REALLY want to be purposeful and intentional about the words that I speak.  And as I continued to think about what it means to mind my mouth (or rather, getting my mouth to mind my mind), I arrived at this: “Be nice or be quiet”.  It’s probably not that much different than what I learned as a kid of , “if you don’t have anything nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all.”  But sometimes, we don’t take hold of those lessons as we should as children, and we need to learn them again as adults.

But on another note, this has been my approach to any situation that threatens my peace of mind and my confidence.  The devil is real, and his ability to attack our mind is real.  And if he can attack my mind, he can steal my peace, my confidence, my joy, my hope, my salvation.  So, I feel that for this year, as I’m believing God for great things, I must address the enemy.  I can’t expect him to be nice or to play nice, but I don’t have to listen to him- and I can tell him to be quiet.

I can choose to listen to the foolishness of the enemy, or I can choose to fill myself with my word, with positive music, confessions, and affirmations until I have effectively tuned him out. Be nice or be quiet is more than what I choose to say to others, but it’s also about what I choose to say and HEAR myself.  I’m believing God for FAR TOO MUCH this year, and the devil won’t talk me (or have me talk myself) out of my promise.

Be mindful that the voice of the devil comes in many forms- it can be the nagging uncertainty that you feel after you’re excited to try something new, or it can be the “friend” who’s never able to share in your joy about your accomplishments or aspirations, or it can be the person in your family who never thought you’d amount to anything.  Be mindful of those voices and be willing to tell them the same thing you’re telling yourself: BE NICE OR BE QUIET!

Peace and Blessings!