LIFE IN BLOOM

Learning How to Flourish in God's Grace

Tag Archives: Family


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Life Lesson: Apologies Don’t Fix Everything

When we are kids, one of the lessons that we learn is that when you do something wrong or when you hurt someone, you apologize. We’re taught that it is appropriate and necessary to apologize in order to fix whatever the problem may be.  And while it’s a good rule to be taught, we also have to teach that rule with the understanding that apologies don’t fix everything.

I hear at least 10 apologies a day; usually from students who are fearful that if they don’t apologize for their behavior, I will send them to the office with a discipline referral.  I generally tell them that while I accept their apology, what I really need for them to do is to change their behavior.  I know it’s harsh, but in that situation, the apology is not the issue.  Their behavior is.  And if their behavior changes, then there is no need for an apology.

I’m currently at fault for a situation, and of course, I apologized.  And I was (and am) truly sorry for what took place.  But as much as I’m sorry, and as much as I’ve apologized, it hasn’t fixed the situation.  It doesn’t change the facts of what took place.  It doesn’t make things better.  When I discussed the situation with my mother, the first thing she asked was if I apologized.  And I told her that I had, but that didn’t mean that the situation was repaired.

While an apology can help facilitate healing, time has to run its course.  And the party that has been wronged has to exercise forgiveness.  In a process, the apology is on the beginning.  And the apology must be genuine or else it’s worthless.

Although I’m genuinely sorry for what I’ve done and for the hurt I’ve caused, I now have to deal with the consequences.  And while it’s painful, it’s the natural course.  The bigger part is learning from my mistakes, and not making them again.

Until next time…


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Belated Merry Christmas

I’m a few days late, but Merry Christmas to those who still take the time to read this blog.  It’s been a delightful time, and I’m happy to report that this blog is coming to you live from the family computer of my parents’ home in Arizona.

There’s been a lot going on since the last time I posted.  The unfortunate being that a horrible sickness took over my school, affecting students and teachers alike.  I’m sad to say that I was involved.  I had to take two days off of work (which I HATE), to take care of me.  After I thought that I was getting better, I ended up getting worse…which resulted in a trip to an urgent care facility to get prescriptions.  Three sets of medications and 6 days later, I’m much better.  I still have a cough, but I can talk, breathe, and eat something other than soup.  I feel like I’m at 100%.

Now, I mentioned that I HATE missing work.  I do.  As much as my students tend to drive me CRAZY with their antics, we have a type of organized chaos that we flow with.  When I’m not there, they really let lose, and it’s nearly impossible to stay on course.  I always dread the notes that I will see from the substitute teachers about their behavior.  I haven’t figured out a way to curb poor behavior when I’m absent (I don’t believe that I should bribe them, because then it’s about the reward, and not understanding that their behavior should be up to par PERIOD).  If you have any suggestions about that, let me know.

But we’ll fast forward.  On Christmas Eve, I arrived in Phoenix.  Thankfully, my flight was smooth.  Flying is such an experience for me.  I really dislike it.  If its an afternoon/evening flight, you best believe that I’ve had a glass of wine prior to getting on the flight to help take the edge off.  Once we’ve taken off, I’m in the air negotiating with Jesus the whole way.  At any hint of turbulence, I’m usually telling Jesus about how it’s way too soon for me to die, and I know that He wouldn’t have it that way because I haven’t finished all of the things that He’s put on the “to-do” list.  I know that He’s in control, but I’m glad He’s a good listener.

Since being home, I’ve enjoyed the camaraderie and love that can only be provided by your family.  You know, the relaxation and brutal honesty that makes all the other things in your life seem to be trivial.  I miss having family close so that I can have some sort of refuge to escape from my regularly scheduled life.  It’s just something about having people there, in your corner, on your team, unconditionally.  I love it.  I love being home, and I’m hoping that I find a way to channel and create the energy that I have now when I return to Florida.

Now for the Christmas highlights.  The big winner in the gift department seemed to be Mom, which isn’t any surprise.  My stepfather usually goes way above and way beyond the call of duty, and she’s always happy.  As for us kids, this was the season of money and electronics- we each ended up with a gadget that we desired, as well as some money in our pockets.  Gotta love that.

There are some things from this season that I’ve noticed for myself, which have hinted at personal growth.  For one, I made, and for the most part, stuck with my Christmas budget.  I won’t be angry or crying when credit card statements come next month, because they weren’t used.  I love that I won’t be the least bit surprised about that.  Along those same lines, I really feel that I’ve done well with exercising discipline in the post-Christmas blitz.  There was a point where I’d be maximizing this shopping season for all its worth, getting all I can from these sales.  Now, I’m more about things that have worth, and none of those can be found at a sale.  It’s a welcome change…in addition to keeping some change in my pocket.

That said, it has been a Merry Christmas for me, and I do hope that yours has been as well.  I pray that you’ve been blessed with the precious gifts of the season, none of which can be found on sale. 

Until next time…peace and blessings to you!