life beyond the well…

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There’s No Future in Frontin…

One of my life goals is to be a wife.  I desire to be happily married to a man who loves God, loves people, loves me; and desires to fulfill God’s purpose for his life. I know that I’m not alone.  In fact, I can name at least 5 women who desire the same thing.

Yet, while I’ve noticed that there are women who desire to be married, I’ve also noticed these same women downplaying that desire.  I’ve been in a few situations where I’ve watched women who I KNOW can’t wait to find the one they will be with forever, act as if it’s not a big deal.  In one situation, I heard one woman who has spoken with me about how she can’t wait to go to Kleinfeld’s in New York (of  “Say Yes to the Dress” fame) to find her wedding dress (when the time comes), loudly proclaim that she wasn’t trying to be married.

This confuses me.  Perhaps I missed something.

If marriage is something that you desire, what’s the harm in admitting that?  What’s wrong with saying that you foresee marriage in your future?

Am I crazy?  Doesn’t it make sense to actually admit that there’s something you want?  How else can you get it if you aren’t willing to admit that you want it?

Or maybe it’s just me.

I’ve thought about this and it’s effects in a couple of different ways.  If women aren’t able to admit that they desire marriage to their close friends and to themselves, how will they be able to articulate that desire within a relationship?

I’m not saying that women should voice their desire for marriage on date one. However, when the conversation comes up, if marriage is something they want, they need to speak up. It’ll be hard to do that if you have yet to admit to yourself that you actually want that.

It’s kind of like this: the more we say something, the more we believe it to be true. There’s power in what we say. So, if we’re speaking lies, there’s a point where we eventually start to view them as truth. That’s not just in relationships, but in life as well.

Just be honest about it- about yourself, about where you are, about where you’re going. There’s no future in frontin’…
 
Until next time…


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Again- Insufficient Parenting

I thought when I wrote this post on insufficient parenting, I had, for the most part, covered my bases.  And then you have those moments that will let you know just how wrong you are.

Insufficient parenting has gone to another level.

It’s a normal day at work. Students are being students.  Teachers are being teachers.  The day has gone by relatively smoothly, and I’m in my room prepping and reviewing materials for my class, which starts in about 20 minutes.

Out of nowhere, I hear what sounds like the gym erupting in cheers after someone made the game-winning shot. I brush this off, thinking that a class got a little too excited.  But the noise continues.  And gets louder.  Finally, I get up and rush down the hall to the cafeteria, to find it buzzing with energy and excitement.

Outside the cafeteria on the sidewalk, I see a young lady surrounded by her peers.  They appear to be calming her down.  I see another young lady being escorted to the office by a teacher.  And I see a parent of the first young lady, who seemed to arrive really fast for something that just happened to pop off.

I go in the cafeteria and start calming kids down; making sure they are quiet and in their seats.  Then I ask other teachers what happened.  And then I learn of the ULTIMATE case of insufficient parenting.

This ALMOST altercation, loud ruckus, disturbing my work time…was caused by a parent.

A PARENT came to the school, cornered a young lady so that her daughter and her daughter’s friends could fuss her out.

Really?  Sigh.  I can’t make this up.  But you’re a GROWN woman.  Why in the WORLD are you SO involved with your child’s drama that you are coming to school to instigate a fight?

Let me be clear: I am in full support of parental involvement in the life of their child.  I encourage it.  I believe and know from experience that it makes a difference.  HOWEVER, that DOES NOT mean that you should be at your child’s school as a GROWN WOMAN instigating fights with teenagers.  I’m sorry for the confusion.  When you do that, you’ve crossed the line into the realm of insufficient parenting.

So yes.  Just to be clear: being involved in your kid’s life is good.  Helping your kids instigate fights with others is insufficient parenting.

That is all.