life beyond the well…


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Stunted Growth

As a mom, I have really struggled with how fast the time passes. I remember others telling me that the time goes by fast, that if I blink, I’ll miss a moment. It’s definitely hard to hold on to that sentiment when you’re in the middle of newborn hazing and being fueled by prayer, adrenaline, water, and snacks. Now that we’ve successfully navigated the first year, I recognize just how fast the time is passing.

It is a wonderful feeling to watch your child grow and master new things. At least once a day he does something that makes me feel that my heart will explode from overwhelming joy. And while I enjoy watching this boy of mine grow so incredibly fast, there’s a part of me that wants to just hold him in this spot where I know that he’s safe, loved deeply, cherished, and valued.  Those aren’t things that the world can promise to my beautiful black son.

What I realized is that my well-intentioned desires to keep my son safe can also lead to stunting his growth. There are (and will be) things that he’s ready for developmentally, regardless of if I’m ready for him to be at that stage and it’s my responsibility to facilitate his growth and development, not stunt it. Being a good steward of his life requires that I (we) do all that we can to lead him as God leads us, to help him grow into who God has called him to be, in every aspect of his life.

For my mama heart, this means leaning in to God more and trusting His plan. It means yielding my worries to God, and embracing my little one’s curiosity and spirit of discovery. It means that I must intentionally raise the bar, time and time again, to show him that he is capable of great things; while also being willing to hold him accountable to  standards of behavior and character that are pleasing to God.

Lord, help us to steward the life of this child in a way that is pleasing and honorable to you. Help us to, with your help, lead him to levels unparalleled because of what you have planned for his life.

 


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Managing Motherhood

It’s been just over 13 months since Baby Ethan Toddler Ethan arrived, and at almost every turn, I find myself in a new situation.  These situations are usually solved by Google and other Mommy friends, but the overwhelming amount of “new” that I have encountered in the past year has done a number on my soul.

You see, I appreciate patterns, traditions, dependability, and reliability. Schedules and systems make me happy. Consistently venturing into the unknown is far from my idea of fun. Having an infant a toddler frequently means that a good chunk of what I’m doing from day to day is venturing into the unknown. While there are skeletal plans and routines, I’m never quite sure when a diaper blowout or projectile spit up can cause a readjustment of the plans. Just when I feel confident that we’ve gotten into a good routine, a growth spurt or teething or a sleep regression happens. And while that absolutely throws us off, in many ways, my ability to thrive through this phase of life depends on my willingness to be flexible, have appropriate expectations, and give myself grace.

Managing motherhood, as I’m coming to realize it, has been much more about how I manage me…as opposed to how I handle this tiny person to whom God has entrusted in my care. It’s been about developing a different kind of trust and faith, that truly believes that God equipped me to “Mama” this wonderful little human, and that we will be just fine.

Is it hard? Absolutely.

Is it exhausting? In the best kind of way.

Is it worth it? Totally.

More than anything, the experience has allowed me to begin to grasp the magnitude of love that God has for us. A love that delights, rejoices, and corrects because we are made in His image, and He desires for us to live a life that reflects that.

To God be the glory.

Until next time…

Be encouraged! Peace and blessings!