from this point forward, i don’t think i’ll ever question that things happen for a reason. people are meant to be in your life at certain periods of time…a reason, a season, a lifetime…and once their time is up, you gotta move on. for me, moving on, which is probably one of the more important elements of change, has never been easy. at any rate, sometimes you learn things the hard way…but as my grandmother told me today (before my life seemingly took a turn for the worse) ,”tough times don’t last- tough people do”.
but now…i’m loving lauryn hill…she’s speaking to my soul right now:
“I chose a road of passion and pain;
Sacrificed too much and waited in vain.
Gave up my power, ceased being queen;
Addicted to love like the drug of a fiend…
Torn and confused, wasted and used;
Reached the crossroad, which path would I choose?
Stuck and frustrated, I waited, debated;
For something to happen that just wasn’t fated.
Thought what I wanted was something I needed…
My soul was weary, but now it’s replenished;
Content because that part of my life is finished…
But my heart is gold, I took back my soul
And totally let my creator control
The life which was his to begin with…
Now I don’t…I used to love him…but now I don’t”
~I Used To Love Him
“What you want might make you cry;
What you need might pass you by;
If you don’t catch it.
And what you need, ironically,
Will turn out what you want to be;
If you just let it.”
~When It Hurts So Bad
so yeah…you take the good with the bad. i’m getting pretty good at letting stuff roll off my shoulders now. but it’s still about discipline…and i’m proud of the discipline i excercised tonight, when i coulda showed my tail. at any rate, from this point forward, it’s all about getting the treatment that i deserve…and that’s real. so seriously, either love me or leave me alone.
still focused. still disciplined…