so, this first semester has been rough. in some ways, i’ve faced academic challenges; but mostly i’ve had to face challenges dealing with family and other social aspects of my life. it’s rough, and i never knew that the transition from undergrad to graduate school (which is “the real world”) in some way/shape/form would be this way.
i’m sure most people don’t have it like this. they don’t uproot from everything they’ve known to go somewhere else to discover what they could be. i’m also sure that most people haven’t had to, for the most part, go at it alone. from trying to find a job and establish myself, to trying to figure out an entirely different educational system than the one i’m used to- i’ve been pushed to my limits.
and that’s where i’m at now…i guess i would say i’m at my limits, but there’s something in me that wants to press on, even though i don’t necessarily feel that i have it in me; nor do i really desire to do so. i know that there’s life outside of this- outside of this loneliness and this struggle, and that this is only temporary. i’d question and i’d desire to get out of this situation, but i know i’d be cheating myself. as the nupe’s would say “shun not the struggle for it is God’s gift”.
i don’t know what lies ahead for me. only GOD knows…and i have faith that he’s gonna carry me through to that next place…
“my soul looks back and wondered how i got over…”
“only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go.”~t.s. eliot