life beyond the well…

do labels matter?

10 Comments

Simple question-

You’re dating someone and you have been for a while.  Neither person is dating someone else- so it’s safe to say that you’re exclusive.  Does it matter if there is the label/title of “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”?  Why or Why not?

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Author: erin.almond

God-chaser. NC native, now planted in Jacksonville, FL. Happily married to a handsome church-planting pastor. I am easily excited by Jesus, education, cupcakes, Moleskine notebooks, and Pepsi. Overwhelmed by God's amazing grace, undeserving of His love and mercy.

10 thoughts on “do labels matter?

  1. I told you my thoughts on GChat…

  2. and those thoughts were:

    “I’m not a typical guy — but I think they do. I’m not even really sure why, but there is something about the title that makes it seem much more official. Without a person can always claim that the two people miscommunicated if they stepped out. Plus the “title” means that you’re not supposed to step out. I’ve been in this type of relationship and I mean if the person wanted to step out they could and then just claim ignorance later.”

  3. My husband and I talk about how people do this (and at times, we laugh at them). Personally, it drives me nuts when people refuse to label their relationship. I mean I understand, and admit that my position totally shows my traditional side. I believe that it’s okay to start unlabled, but eventually it needs to be labled. My view is similar to rell’s in that it eliminates ANY confusion. And to be blunt, not labeling presents an air of denial. Also, have you ever noticed how usually it’s one person in the relationship who doesn’t want to label it, and the other person who wants to just sort of succumbs to their refusal? I’ve found that unlabeled relationships are rarely a mutual desire.

  4. its not cheating if you technically don’t have a girlfriend..

  5. Yeah it matters. It matters only because titles inherently produce boundaries. They initiate further conversation that gives an understanding of what will, and won’t be tolerated in the relationship. That’s my 2 second answer. I’ll be back for me…

    flight in 2 hours!

  6. I think it depends if you both desire/want ‘the relationship’ to be exclusive and also if you both have acknowledged each other as THE GIRLFRIEND and THE BOYFRIEND. Its kind of bad to assume right? 😉

  7. I’ve always felt that communication is the key. Much more so than a tile or a lable. If you have talked about and are clear on the conditions and boundaries what difference does a word make?

    Sometimes labels bring unnecessary pressure. If your relationship is good and nobody is stepping outside of what you both have agreed is acceptable behavior, why try to force what you have into some predefined box? Because society tells you that’s the way it ought to be?

  8. Hmmm…..that’s hard to say. It depends on how you feel about each other and if each of you are ready to be official. Once you’re “official” certain things are expected. Therefore, it depends completely on the people involved. My personal opinion is, if you’re happy; who cares about labels? If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

  9. I’m not sure how I feel about this… I think after a while of mutual exclusiveness then yeah…maybe it is time for the label. And maybe its my personal fear of committment and the desire to date whomever….

    so maybe, labels aren’t great to start of with but something that has to be grown into and communicated…

  10. I dont think there has to be a “label” per se but each person needs to know where the other persons head is at so they dont get hurt… you can say you are dating each other exclusively without being BF/GF but if one person does dip out… they may be in due right because nothing was defined… so whether there is an official label or not… the 2 should still have a clear understanding of their relationship

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