life beyond the well…

Question Re: Dating Later in Life

4 Comments

This question was asked to me yesterday by my good friend Ty.  Here’s what he asked:

Do you think that the later in life you start dating, the easier it is for you to fall in love?

Ty and I hypothesized that it probably is easier to fall in love because you may not have the same emotional baggage as people who began dating earlier in life and have gone through some bad situations.  At the same time, we thought that beginning to date later in life could be problematic because as you get older the proverbial clock starts to tick, and with every person, there’s the hope that they could be “the one”.  Between that hope, and the naivete that a person has regarding relationships, they could be much more easily hurt than someone who’s been through some relationships and knows how to navigate them in a healthy way.

But now, I pose the question for you:

Do you think that the later in life you start dating, the easier it is for you to fall in love?

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Author: erin.almond

God-chaser. NC native, now planted in Jacksonville, FL. Happily married to a handsome church-planting pastor. I am easily excited by Jesus, education, cupcakes, Moleskine notebooks, and Pepsi. Overwhelmed by God's amazing grace, undeserving of His love and mercy.

4 thoughts on “Question Re: Dating Later in Life

  1. Hhmmm… I’m really not sure, but I think it’s an interesting question.
    To the point about having less emotional baggage: We must not forget that the baggage people accumulate is not solely produced by romantic encounters gone bad. Insecurities, ego complexes, parental issues, and interpersonal connections across the board can affect how willing a person is to open up their heart.
    Also, I agree that a lack of relational “skills” could cause a person to be hurt more easily, but that doesn’t mean that they weren’t in love, does it? Stemming from that, I have a question for you, Erin. What do you mean by the phrase “fall in love”? Is falling in love a state of being willing to open up emotionally, or does it signify a readiness to forge a lasting committment?

  2. Great question! Um, and I actually don’t have a profound answer to it, but I’ll share anyway. I don’t think that the later in life you start dating the easier it is for you to fall in love. I think the ease of falling in love has less to do with when you start, and more to do with maturity and life space. And as I think about it, I don’t know that falling in love is ever easy b/c love is a complex thing. Love is one of those things that even if you think you’re ready, you’re probably not; and if you think you’re not ready, you have to conquer that issue so that you can let it happen. I don’t know that that makes sense, but those are my thoughts.

  3. I don’t believe that when you start dating determines how easily fall in love. But if it did, I would say the younger you start dating, the easier it is to fall in love at first. But then later in life, we mature. So I believe it depends on the person and where they are in life.
    I know when I was growing up we were not allowed to date until we were 16. My parents thought that my sister was too immature to date and upped her legal dating age to 18. So i can say in my house we never heard the “I love him/her” at the age of 12. And we always had a square head on our shoulders (whatever that means.) I personally think I have a harder time of falling in love…

  4. Erin, I don’t think it’s as much a matter of age as it is baggage. I think it’s easier to “fall” when there is less history and heartbreak to sift through. It just so happens that the longer we live the more of those things we often have.

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