I hate sitting still.
Not literally. Literally speaking, I enjoy sitting still. However, in terms of having things to do, I hate sitting still. I enjoy having multiple projects to do, and it honestly keeps me from wasting time.
However, this love of being busy (or being a busybody) has it’s downfalls. More often than I care to acknowledge, I find myself feeling overwhelmed by many of the tasks that I have to do (not even counting all of the tasks that come with planning a wedding). And usually, it’s my fault because I have over-committed myself to tasks without fully evaluating what’s on my plate. It’s like I’m asking for and consuming more food before I’ve even finished with what I have.
This is dangerous.
It’s dangerous because it puts me in a position where I’m constantly finding myself feeling stretched and drained. I’m not able to be my “best self” because there are pieces of me in so many different places that I’m not a “complete self”. I’m not able to devote my full attention to any ONE thing, because any ONE thing is a distraction to the FIVE (or 8, 9, 12, 17, 24…etc) other things that I COULD/SHOULD/WANT TO be doing at the time.
It’s also dangerous because there’s no way that EVERYTHING that I’m committed to is something that God desires for me to be committed to at this time. I have to be conscious of my season and of what God desires of me at that time. Good things are not the same as God things. So, while it may be great for me to be serve on __________ committee or to help with ___________ program, if it’s not what God is calling me to do at the time; it’s a distraction and a tool of the enemy. Though we frequently think and believe that the enemy just tempts us with things that are absolutely deplorable (and he does), he also tempts us with stuff for which we have an affection. And in our minds, we feel that it should be okay since we are doing a GOOD thing. But the bottom line is that if we’re doing anything outside of what God calls us to do at the time, in the season, wherever…it’s not good…and can ultimately cause us more harm than good.
As I’ve struggled to balance all of my responsibilities during this working season, I’ve been holding on to the following scriptures:
“So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty.” – Zechariah 4:6 (NIV)
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”- 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
With all of the things that I have on my plate, the ONLY way that it’s going to get accomplished is if I turn it all over to God, and trust Him to equip me with the strength I need to handle each task, each day. Knowing that God has given me sufficient grace, and that by His spirit, I can (and will) accomplish these tasks has been comforting; and every day it forces me to seek Him first in regards to the plans for the day.
It has been and continues to be a challenge, but I continue to pursue the balance that my life needs, and I believe that God will honor my sincere efforts to organize and balance my life in a way that He sees is best. So, even in the midst of this busy season, I’m confident in the power of the Lord to carry me through.