life beyond the well…


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It’s not always an uphill battle

I really want to update my blog more than once a week.  However, it seems like that’s all I’ve got time for.  This week was challenging, but it ended well.  I decided that it was really time for me to toughen up and develop some thick skin.  The result- I’ve been writing students up and kicking them out of class after being disrespectful like it’s my job.  Oh wait- IT IS my job.  As well all know, not all of the education that takes place in school is written in lesson plans.  Part of what my students have to learn is how to listen, when to respond, and that there are consequences for their actions.  Unfortunately, that’s not always taught at home.  But, in order for me to do my job (the one that includes lesson plans), I have to deal with this aspect also.

I’m frequently amazed at how often my students feel that certain things are negotiable/debatable.  I know that when I was in their grade, I had a different understanding of the dynamics between a teacher and a student–and I also knew that getting in trouble at school was not the route that I wanted to travel if I wanted to have a nice, safe, home life.  I see that some things have changed.

What I have learned this week is that life (teaching included) is not always an uphill battle.  And even moreso, you really have the power to choose which battles you’re going to fight.  I decided this week that I refuse to be broken down to the point where I was earlier, because I’m doing something that I love and I’m doing it for people that I love (my students).  What’s most important in this situation is that I love them to death, correct them when necessary, encourage them continuously, and model what I expect.

Since life presents me with different situations, I can choose how I deal with it.  It’s been my belief for a while that as a Christian, the strongest tests I face are in regards to how I will react to a situation.  How does my faith lend me to respond to a situation?  That will tell you more about who I am than any words that I (or anyone else) could ever say.

Life isn’t always an uphill battle.  There are some dips.  Some plateaus.  And some hills to climb.  Sometimes it’s not an uphill battle because there isn’t any battle but the one that we create by making situations out to matter more than they should.  The power to choose is such an AMAZING gift; it’s a muscle that I don’t feel we exercise often enough.  We get a little content and begin to let things happen to us instead of making things happen for us.

Like Solange, I’ve decided…like India.Arie, I choose.  The crazy thing about this life is that we only get one shot.  One chance to do what we can, how we can, with what we’re given.  Let’s make that choice.

PS- I realize that this is random.  But that’s okay.  My thoughts don’t always have to make sense.


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i wish i knew…

Seriously, I don’t know if I’m coming or going.  Teaching is HARD.  Today, I wanted to run out of the classroom and go hide in the restroom and cry.

It’s one thing to work with students who want to learn, who come to class prepared, and who are eager (or at least good pretenders) about the material.  It’s another thing to have to consistently try to get students motivated, to have to YELL over students, and to talk to students who feel that you need to explain yourself to them.

Today, I found myself wondering why I was here.  I was wondering why do I put in almost 12 hours of work, to come home and work some more, to come home and work on the weekend- to have to deal with that.  What made me feel like that was the right choice?  And why, despite all of that, do I want to go back tomorrow with another plan, to try again?  What have I signed up for?

Right now, I’m in need of prayers, the weekend, or some hurricane days.  While just one will do, I’ll accept all of them…

Until next time…