it’s rare that i post twice in a day, even if i am feeling so inspired. i don’t know if i’d say that i feel inspired right now, but i do feel the need to write to articulate my thoughts to something…or someone…

so my new theme for my life is “discipline- time to stop settling for good enough”. i feel like i have a lot of things and/or people in my life that are good enough…but why should i settle for that? something in my soul is crying out for more…and i suppose that in order for me to get more, i have to raise my standards. i’m tired of meeting people who are “almost right”. i feel so let down, so discouraged, so depleted…in so many aspects. i want more…and i don’t necessarily know how to go about getting that…but i suppose i’ll figure out a way. all i know is that i’m tired of receiving and accepting mediocrity from mediocre people (but what else would you really have to give if you fit into that category). i’m tired of being made out to feel that i’m trippin’ or that my standards are unreasonable.

i feel like i need more. i don’t know how much of this rests in the fact that i miss my friends…who are stellar in all senses (most of the time…hehe). but even still i feel like my friendships with people are becoming less and less existent. maybe i’m not doing my part, but i defintely don’t feel like i’ve been given any reason to. i mean…just call me whenever you need me to help you with something…don’t ask me how i’m doing or call any other time. i mean, that’s what friends do, right? i guess i really understand what john legend was saying when he said “times is hard and things are a’changing…i pray to god that we can remain the same…all i’m tryna say…is it don’t have to change…”

but maybe change is good…maybe change is what i need in my life…at least from some people. all i know is that i’m really on this discipline tip from now on…so…whatever that means, whatever that implies…

so…no more project uplift! i don’t know if i’m really excited about that or not. however, i will say that i had an AWESOME time with the staff. we completed it with a trip to myrtle beach, which was A LOT of fun. everytime i’m around my uplift staff, i feel like i get the best ab workout from laughing so hard. from dancing in the cage at freaky tiki to playing big booty in the parking lot, in the van, and on the street…i TRULY had a great time. i’m definitely gonna miss my PU fam, and they also made me realize how much i love carolina. good times, great oldies.

being on the uplift retreat also made me realize how grateful i am for the growth that i’ve experienced in my life over the past couple of years. a lot of times, it’s difficult for me to see how i’ve grown because there are times where i don’t feel as if i’ve made many changes. but sometimes, being around others allows you to see the changes in your mentality and your position…and it gives you a different perspective on what it means to grow and change. i’m not where i ought to be…but i’m grateful that i’m not where i used to be. i’m just taking things one day at a time.

hollaaaaaa…