LIFE IN BLOOM

Learning How to Flourish in God's Grace


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In the Spirit of Independence…

In all honesty, Independence Day has never meant much to me; other than some good sales at the mall, good barbeques and time well spent with family and friends. As a lover of history and someone proud to be American, I understand the historical context and significance of July 4. As an African American, it is sometimes difficult for me be excited about the country that I live in declaring independence from their oppressors; only to inflict oppression on others. It’s a dichotomy that I struggle with.

However, the Fourth of July Holiday for this year is a little different for me because of the upcoming changes in my life. In less than 2 weeks, I will be packing up a moving truck and heading down to South Florida; to pursue my dream of being a Social Studies Teacher. It’s an exciting change; however, it makes me nervous. To have the opportunity to do what you’ve always dreamed of doing is so awesome- and it’s an opportunity that could change my life. The nervousness is natural- going to a place that’s unfamiliar and trying to figure out the way of life; along with meeting new people, finding a new church, all of that type of stuff. I’ve made a move before- from North Carolina to Athens, GA, but it was slightly different- moving to go to graduate school is a different type of move than a career move.

At any rate, I suppose that I am declaring my own independence- more and more. I’m grateful to God for the opportunity to experience life in different places, especially at such a young age. Despite my nervousness, I’m confident that things will go well; however, I’m grateful to even have the opportunity to pursue my dreams and my passions. I’m thankful for family and friends who have been supportive and encouraging, and who have helped me get over my initial “OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAVE I DONE” moments after deciding to move.

Here’s to striking it out on your own, to pursuing the road less traveled, to not being afraid to declare your independence.

“To find a dream and a life of their own/A place in the clouds, a foundation of stone/Many precede and many will follow/A young girl’s dream no longer hollow…” ~Dixie Chicks, Wide Open Spaces

“I can see it in the stars across the sky/Dreamt a hundred thousand dreams before/Now I finally realize/You see, I’ve waited all my life for this moment to arrive/And finally, I believe…” ~Fantasia, I Believe


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clearing out and cleaning up

Usually when I start posts here, I have an idea of what I’m going to say. I can’t say that’s the case this time. I just know that the title completely describes what needs to take place in my life.

I feel like one of the biggest challenges I face is to not let ANYTHING completely take over my life. For the last few weeks, I’ve been somewhere between working ALL the time and/or at church ALL the time for various meetings and commitments. I have a ridiculously long list of things that I need to do (laundry, cooking, going to the dry cleaners) and I never feel like there’s enough time to get them done. On the nights when I’m not overly committed to something else, I’m usually too tired or unmotivated to do anything meaningful. I want the professional success and it’s important to me to serve Christ in the ways that I’ve been called to do so. I don’t feel that I should need an extra 2-3 hours in the day to do so.

While I’m feeling a bit over-committed in some areas of my life, I feel that I’m really not doing well with dealing with people. I’ve gone through phases since being in Athens where I’ve felt lonely and homesick, and I kinda feel that way now. But there’s also a different component to this, where I actually just crave an inner circle; people who know me and understand me and love me for me. While I love and appreciate being on my own, I wish that I could have the opportunity to do cocktails with the girls or have a movie night. I guess I feel detached from everything and everyone…including myself.

At the end of the day, I can live with myself- the mistakes that I’ve made, the regrets, the hopes for the future. Trying to navigate it and understand it is much more difficult. I feel like there is a severe need to clear out some things and reorganize my life. I wish I knew where to begin…

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” ~Matthew 6:33

“I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.” ~Psalm 27:13-14