LIFE IN BLOOM

Learning How to Flourish in God's Grace

Tag Archives: Family


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February Blues

When I was teaching, we used to suffer from this condition that we called the “February Blues”.  It used to hit us toward the end of February, after the newness of the year and semester had worn off, and we realized that there would be many weeks of nonstop school before any sign of a break.  The grind of teaching, grading, correcting, and being physically and mentally present day in and day out starts to wear on you.  You’ve either seen progress in meeting your goals, or you haven’t; and it’s becoming more difficult to stay motivated.  The cold weather becomes annoying and gloomy, and you long for the bright and warm days of spring.

Though I’m no longer teaching, I’ve found myself with my own “February Blues”.  Though I’ve been fairly consistent with my workout routine, and I’m seeing results; I haven’t been as successful with my productivity towards my dissertation.  I’ve been better about getting to work on time, but I’m struggling with being as organized as I feel that I should be.  While I’ve had several thoughts swirling in my head (and drafts written), I’ve found it challenging to complete entries for this blog because I just haven’t felt super inspired.

And yet, I must press on.

I have to press on because the “February Blues” don’t last forever.  I have to press on because I don’t have time to waste wallowing in my feelings.  I’m on a journey, in the middle of a process; and it continues despite how I feel or what I see.  I can’t allow myself to get so caught up in these fleeting feelings during this “gloomy time” that I find myself unprepared when the sunny time comes.  I have to continue to prepare myself; continue to exercise and strengthen my faith regardless of how I feel.  I’m believing for more than I can see right now, so I have to act like it, move like it, talk like it until I DO see it.

And then I have to believe for more.

What encourages me the most is knowing that “February Blues” don’t last long.  Soon, I’ll be at a point where I can’t recall feeling this way, and I’ll be enjoying the blossoms of spring. As my pastor says, “Anything temporary can be tolerated.”  Since I know this isn’t forever, I will continue to trust, believe, and press my way.  And when the next round of “February Blues” come, I’ll be encouraged because I’ve been here before; because I’ll know what it takes to get through- and I’ll hunker down and do it.

“February Blues”- I’m coming for you!  No more holding me back!

Peace and Blessings!

 


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I Wish I Could See Her Shadow

Every year on Feburary 2, news anchors wait anxiously for the groundhog to let us know if we’ll have 6 more weeks of winter, or if an early spring is on the way.  I’m not sure if anyone has ever tested how accurate these groundhog predictions are, but there has to be something to it.

But for the last 15 years or so, I’ve longed to see someone else’s shadow on February 2nd.  I’ve longed to see the shadow of my Granny.  Because you know, if I could see her shadow that would mean that she’s still with us here on earth, that she exists in reality, and not just in my memory and the memories of my family.

My granny was awesome.  Just amazing.  Someone who had more love stored up in her sub 5-foot frame than anyone I know.  I always marvel that each of her grandchildren (and there are more than 20 of us) all felt that we were the favorite- cause that’s how she loved us. Old school, firm love- that was consistent and fair.

You couldn’t say to no to her.  Partially because you don’t tell your elders no, but partially because everything that she was up to was rather compelling.  Whether it was tending to her flowers, making a quilt, pulling out a loose tooth, or cooking something in the kitchen, you always wanted to be near her to learn something…because you could see from her life that she was evidence of Psalm 1:3, yielding fruit, and prosperous in whatever she does.

There’s so much that she taught us- tangibly and intangibly.  So much that I struggle to put into words all the lessons that I learned, things that still guide and impact my life today.  Faith.  Love.  Family.  She embodied all of that and left us with a wonderful legacy and huge shoes to fill.

When I think of her, there are many things I wish for; but mostly, I wish for more time.  I wish that she could have been at my graduations.  At my wedding.  At all those Christmases past.  I wish that when I go to her house, I could find her in the same place I found her for so many years after school- in her garden.  I wish that I hadn’t allowed my fear to keep me from seeing her as much as I could in her last days- but I’m glad she held on so that I was able to hold her hand one last time.  I wish that I had a proper goodbye.  But  more than anything- I wish that I could see her shadow on February 2nd.

Continue to rest in peace, Granny.  We love you and we miss you.