life beyond the well…

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Attention + Respect

“If you want my attention, you must show that you deserve my respect.”

It was that thought that ran through my mind after being catcalled by a young man while on my way to my car to go meet a friend for lunch.  I have no idea what he actually said, but it was clear that he was trying to get my attention.  Somewhere between him slowing down to drive past me, then making a U-turn to come back and drive past me again; I figured he either had something to say or was trying to kidnap me.  Fortunately it was more of the former than the latter.

It’s cool that he thought that much of how I looked to want to speak.  I say that not to sound conceited, but just based on the fact that the only thing he knew about me was how I looked.  But the approach was all wrong.  Which is what led me to this thought: “If you want my attention, you must show that you deserve my respect.”

There was a time in my life where I might have given him (or some other guy who hollered at me from a car) a second of my time.  Or at least considered it.  But I’m not there now.  And I honestly think that women can learn a lot about guys (i.e.: who to talk to or who to ignore) based on the approach.

Any guy that is TRULY interested in woman, will want her to respect him as a man.  And because he has that desire, he will approach her in a way that not only commands her attention, but also garners him respect.  It may not be flashy, but it will be honorable.  Sometimes, us women get so caught up in what looks good that we miss what’s good for us.

Now I know that we’re in this time where we have to be nice to everyone and love everyone and not say a single mean thing to anyone.  That’s cool.  But there’s a difference in me treating you in a respectful way, and me actually respecting you.  Likewise, if what you desire is for me to actually RESPECT you in addition to just treating you respectfully, you MUST come correct.

If women have a clear understanding of their worth and what they deserve from a man, it is incredibly difficult for them to settle for anything less than that.  Thus, they will force a man to approach them in a way that is worthy of their attention and their respect.  Ladies, we can’t complete about men not having standards if WE don’t have standards.  We teach people how to treat us by showing how we treat ourselves.  If what you show/say is inconsistent with what you feel that you deserve, you cannot be upset when what you receive is lower than your standards also.

So, like Captain Planet, the power is yours.  If they want your attention, make them show that they deserve your respect.


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In the Middle…

I hate being in the middle. Maybe it’s some weird psychological thing that I have because I’m the oldest child. Maybe it’s because I don’t like confined spaces. I’m not sure what it is. All I know is that I hate being the middle. Of anything.

I don’t like the middle seat on airplanes or in cars. I don’t like being in the middle of the line. I kinda hate that I have the middle office. There’s just something about the middle that bothers me.

This can be difficult because life has given me quite a few situations where I’m in the middle. And honestly, it’s a challenge. What I find most challenge is the time where I’m stuck in the middle of a blessing.

Being stuck in the middle of a blessing seems like a nice place to be. You’re receiving the very thing that God promised and that you believed Him for. Your life is moving forward, and it seems like things are coming together.  But then something changes.  You realize that this blessing requires more than you expected.  You begin to feel that you don’t have what you need for this blessing.  This new blessing just doesn’t fit well.  It’s something that you have to grow into.

Ahhh growth.  It’s a sneaky little sucker that just won’t quit.  Just when I think that I’m in a good place and things are moving right along, I get bitten by this growth bug.  It’s what forces me to change, realizing that if I’ve been blessed with more, I have to not only do more, I have to be more.

But sometimes it’s not just growth that is challenging about being in the middle of a blessing.  It’s also difficult because you’re in an unfamiliar place.  Your guards are up, your attention to detail is high because you have to soak in every piece of knowledge to continue to learn and thrive.  You don’t know who to trust or to rely on, and you’re forced to just keep going.  Day in and day out, you have to keep moving.  You have to keep moving because it’s your only option; because not moving, standing still, is actually sinking back and getting behind.  You have to keep moving because the only way to get TO is to go THROUGH.

If there was another option, you’d have surely taken it.  Because who chooses to go through something that’s difficult, even if it IS a blessing?  However, if we are honest with ourselves, we can admit that there are things that we’ve learned through those difficult times.  As the more seasoned saints would say, “I wouldn’t take nothin’ for my journey now”.

So, be encouraged.  If you find yourself “in the middle”, remember that you have to go THROUGH to get TO.  Being in the middle of a blessing is one of the best places you can be- even if it doesn’t feel like it.  But our journey is more than feelings, it is one of faith.

 

Some scriptures to encourage you while you’re “in the middle” of your blessing:

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.” –Hebrews 10:35-36

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”- James 1:2-4