life beyond the well…

Attention + Respect

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“If you want my attention, you must show that you deserve my respect.”

It was that thought that ran through my mind after being catcalled by a young man while on my way to my car to go meet a friend for lunch.  I have no idea what he actually said, but it was clear that he was trying to get my attention.  Somewhere between him slowing down to drive past me, then making a U-turn to come back and drive past me again; I figured he either had something to say or was trying to kidnap me.  Fortunately it was more of the former than the latter.

It’s cool that he thought that much of how I looked to want to speak.  I say that not to sound conceited, but just based on the fact that the only thing he knew about me was how I looked.  But the approach was all wrong.  Which is what led me to this thought: “If you want my attention, you must show that you deserve my respect.”

There was a time in my life where I might have given him (or some other guy who hollered at me from a car) a second of my time.  Or at least considered it.  But I’m not there now.  And I honestly think that women can learn a lot about guys (i.e.: who to talk to or who to ignore) based on the approach.

Any guy that is TRULY interested in woman, will want her to respect him as a man.  And because he has that desire, he will approach her in a way that not only commands her attention, but also garners him respect.  It may not be flashy, but it will be honorable.  Sometimes, us women get so caught up in what looks good that we miss what’s good for us.

Now I know that we’re in this time where we have to be nice to everyone and love everyone and not say a single mean thing to anyone.  That’s cool.  But there’s a difference in me treating you in a respectful way, and me actually respecting you.  Likewise, if what you desire is for me to actually RESPECT you in addition to just treating you respectfully, you MUST come correct.

If women have a clear understanding of their worth and what they deserve from a man, it is incredibly difficult for them to settle for anything less than that.  Thus, they will force a man to approach them in a way that is worthy of their attention and their respect.  Ladies, we can’t complete about men not having standards if WE don’t have standards.  We teach people how to treat us by showing how we treat ourselves.  If what you show/say is inconsistent with what you feel that you deserve, you cannot be upset when what you receive is lower than your standards also.

So, like Captain Planet, the power is yours.  If they want your attention, make them show that they deserve your respect.


Author: erin.almond

God-chaser. NC native, now planted in Jacksonville, FL. Happily married to a handsome church-planting pastor. I am easily excited by Jesus, education, cupcakes, Moleskine notebooks, and Pepsi. Overwhelmed by God's amazing grace, undeserving of His love and mercy.

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