“this morning, i woke up feeling brand new. i jumped up feeling my highs and my lows…and i’ve been thinking i got my reasons just to get by…”
“i can feel the breaking of day. i won’t look back, i’ll just keep pressing my way. i can feel the breaking of day. my blessing’s got to be on the way. i may not be able to see it, but in my heart i do believe that jesus, he knows all my struggles; and soon he’s coming to see about me…”
i’ve never been the type to truly listen to music. while i love different songs and different artists, it wasn’t until recently that i’ve been able to really say that i FEEL a song. over break i heard a pastor talk about how music can usher you into the spirit and now i really understand what that means. yesterday, i heard “breaking of day”…this TIGHT gospel song that i hadn’t heard in a long time and it really picked up my spirits. i feel a lot better about a lot of things and i’m dealing with all of the situations a lot better.
i love how god uses different situations to groom us and to teach us, and ultimately, to make us better servants for him. as i said in my spoken word, “i’m glad i can look at my past and see that troubles don’t last; that when my soul was broken, god placed it in a cast.” god has been there for me so much and i could never thank him or praise him enough…
on another note, yesterday was kind of a nostalgic day for me–it would have been my grandmother’s 85th birthday; had she lived. she passed on when i was in 9th grade and it was definitely a difficult time for me. she lived down the street from me and i spent every afternoon with her from the time i was like 7 up until i started playing sports in middle school. even then, i still saw her every afternoon; in that we always made granny’s house a stop on the way home. i have never, in my life, known a stronger, more beautiful woman. she was so gracious, so humble, so god-fearing, just an all-around awesome woman. my soul has forever been enlightened by the life that she has lived…
so, i guess i feel slightly rejuvenated, and feeling more and more like my “old self”. whatever that means. i take that back…i don’t feel like my “old self” because i’m not who or what i used to be. i’m growing into who i am becoming….
“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” Anais Nin