So, today marks one year since the death of my grandmother; and it was a very difficult day. It’s amazing how vivid some memories are. This year has been full of many blessings, as well as many trials; and part of what has been difficult for me is being unable to call my grandmother and talk with her.
You never really realize and understand the true impact that someone has in your life until they are gone. I suppose this can be argued, and that some will dispute this. What I really mean is that I always appreciated having my grandmother in my life, but I didn’t realize how much it affected me. This past year has shown me that.
The worst moments come when I truly acknowledge that there will be events in my life where her presence would be welcomed. Graduations. Marriages. Birth of children. Despite knowing that she’ll be there in spirit, I still want to SEE her. Hug her. Talk to her. I’m sad that I missed out on so much with my grandmother because I was being a selfish, disagreeable child. But hindsight is 20/20.
The truth is that after a year, it seems more difficult at times. Some memories are much more vivid, some regrets are much more prominent. And still, some days I just want to be able to talk to her on the phone…