life beyond the well…

Sparked by Sex and The City…

5 Comments

While working on lesson plans, I was listening (okay, watching) Sex and the City, and Carrie asks the following question:  “In a relationship, is honesty always the best policy?”

Now, I tend to lean towards the YES end of that spectrum, because I feel that if I can’t be honest with you, then what does that say about our “relationship”?  And that goes for ANY relationship- with friends, family, or a romantic relationship.  However, I’m sure some people would disagree.  So, I’m posing the question to you all:

“In a relationship, is honesty always the best policy?”

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Author: erin.almond

God-chaser. NC native, now planted in Jacksonville, FL. Happily married to a handsome church-planting pastor. I am easily excited by Jesus, education, cupcakes, Moleskine notebooks, and Pepsi. Overwhelmed by God's amazing grace, undeserving of His love and mercy.

5 thoughts on “Sparked by Sex and The City…

  1. I believe ‘usually’ is appropriate. Sure everybody wants to think of course. But lets be real here. Por ejemplo:
    You think her mother is a crazy, over bearing, snob…you could say this..and be honest…or you could say ‘your mother is unique’…it’s not a lie..but it’s not what you honestly think. Perhaps honesty isn’t going to be productive in this situation.

    Also, a question some women love to ask ‘Do you think i’m getting fat?’ …while there is never a correct answer for this question…only a tactful one….YES is never a feasible option. I mean…you can be honest…but really…who’s that helping?

    So ….’usually’ is how i see the answer to that questions, summarily.

  2. I totally agree that honesty is the best policy. Now, this is not to say that the truth is going to be pretty and soothing, if it were, we probably wouldn’t even have to ask this question. However, honesty makes us better individuals if we utilize and accept it in a useful way. And, while I’m a total honesty advocate, I have to also mention that there are ways to be honest without crushing people’s spirits, or being a hinderance to one’s progress; it’s always important to keep this in mind. Unless it’s an individual with whom I know I can be honest with, I usually go by the “do you really want the truth?” method. Whenever anyone ask my opinion, I do my best to ask if they really want to hear the truth; especially if I know it’s not very pretty.

    If you ask me, it really does come down to maturity. I believe that if people are truly mature, especially the people you have relationships with (no matter the type), there should be a level of respect that allows for honest dialogue. But no matter what it’s a two-sided coin, so don’t dish out what you can’t take. Also, we should never forget that every thing doesn’t need our commentary; you know when to speak and when not to.

    That’s just my extremely humble perspective.

  3. Honesty IS ALWAYS the best policy!!!

    I think…

  4. I agree with all the comments. What was interesting to me, was the follow up thought on SATC, where Carrie wonders if being honest with someone is a very selfish move. Basically, we hurt someone’s feelings by being honest so that we can feel better about getting whatever it is off of our chest. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

    But, we do have to realize and accept that some people aren’t ready for the truth, and as a person in the relationship, we have to gauge how to communicate with that person in a way that is on their level, honest, and doesn’t compromise the integrity of that relationship.

    In my own relationships, I’m always grateful for people who love me enough to tell me the truth. However, I’m always more receptive when people speak the truth in LOVE and aren’t out to hurt my feelings with what they know or are trying to express to me.

  5. Yes, yes and yes! I agree with the comments that refer to the art of tact , speaking the truth in love and so forth. Honestly, though, I’ve always been hurt more by lies than by the truth. Give me the venemous truth over a sweet lie any day of the week. At least then I’ll know how you really feel, have a little more insight into who you really are, and be able to adjust myself and/or our relationship accordingly. A lie takes away that option. So, if telling the truth is selfish, as Carrie suggests, it is my opinion that lying is exponentially moreso.

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