life beyond the well…

Yes, Things DO Change

3 Comments

“You may wonder, ‘How can I leave it all behind if I am just coming back to it? How can I make a new beginning if I simply return to the old?’ The answer lies in the return. You will not come back to the ‘same old thing.’ What you return to has changed because you have changed. Your perceptions will be altered. You will not incorporate into the same body, status, or world you left behind. The river has been flowing while you were gone. Now it does not look like the same river.”  ~Steven Foster, The Book of the Vision Quest

“The only man I know who behaves sensibly is my tailor; he takes my measurements anew each time he sees me.  The rest go on with their old measurements and expect me to fit them.”  ~George Bernard Shaw

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another.” ~Anatole France

Courtesy of Yom Kippur, I’m currently on a little break from school, and I decided to visit the Athens/Atlanta area as a getaway from Florida, and to see people that I haven’t seen since I’ve moved.  It’s amazing how things have changed.

Most obviously, I have changed.  My attitude towards things have changed, and the comfortability that I felt with Athens annoys me a little bit.  It’s not as good a fit as it was when I was here.  I’ve stretched out, and while Athens is cool, it now feels like the shoe that you’ve started to outgrow.  You can still fit, but you don’t have as much wiggle room, and you know that soon, it will be horribly uncomfortable- and damaging to your growth- if you don’t transition into a larger size.

This revelation, makes me excited and confirms my decision to go to Florida.  Even after we make these decisions, and begin the process of growth and exploration, we still crave the familiarity of what we’ve known for so long.  Since being here, I’ve found myself craving a return to Florida- where I have my own space, my own thoughts, and my own life- not so inextricably intertwined with others.  It’s amazing how being in your own space allows you to grow, free from the ideas and expectations of others.  It’s not to say that their aren’t expectations that I have to meet in Florida.  I do.  But it’s a different thing.  And sadly, that’s the best way that I can describe it.

What has been comforting to me is that people that I know here have accepted me as I am- changes and all.  Sometimes the people that we know seem to put us, and what they know about us, in a time capsule of their memory.  What they recall of us is exactly how we were- and it doesn’t allow for us to be updated or relevant to where our life is now.  The sad thing about that is that you can never truly be friends with people who do that, because after that point where they’ve capsuled you, you only exist in their memory.  They can never fully acknowledge you for who you are presently and what you have become.  Although they may know and acknowledge the changes that you’ve been through, they are mere asterisks (with a footnote reference) to your category in their life.

This trip has been beneficial for me because, in all honesty, it’s always good to get away.  And sometimes returning to a place where you’ve experienced so many changes can allow you to appreciate even the smallest aspects of growth that you’ve had while you’ve been gone.

That said, I’m grateful for my extended family in Athens who has shown me much love…and I’m proud of myself for taking a leap of faith by moving to Florida and extending myself outside of my comfort zone.  I’m proud of my growth, and excited to see what lies beyond this point, this visit, this time…

And because I couldn’t resist one last quote; one that I love and truly embrace:

“There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”  ~Anais Nin

Advertisements

Author: erin.almond

God-chaser. NC native, now planted in Jacksonville, FL. Happily married to a handsome church-planting pastor. I am easily excited by Jesus, education, cupcakes, Moleskine notebooks, and Pepsi. Overwhelmed by God's amazing grace, undeserving of His love and mercy.

3 thoughts on “Yes, Things DO Change

  1. Wow Erin. This is beautiful, and so true. I can definitely relate, in several ways. Most recently I’ve undergone a reverse version of the experience you outlined. My recent return to MD had me feeling a bit defeated, like I was destined to stagnate or cease growing because I had to return home. Now, a change of mindset allows me to see that there is so much more to experience here than I could have ever known. It has always been rare for me to get homesick, but at this point I’m really not going to try to picture myself anywhere else. This is where I am, so it must be where I am meant to be… at least for now. (And yes, I’m back in MD indefinitely; no, I’m not moving back to MS anytime soon; yes, you can call me for the details… 🙂
    Glad to see you growing and blossoming into something more and more lovely and alive. PEACE OUT!

  2. I love this post!! Just had to tell you :-).

  3. Sissy,

    I love this post. It is so true. It put into words all the things I felt when I moved out to Los Angeles. I love it out here! It has helped me to grow into the woman I am now. DC gave me some comfort, that after a while started suffocating me. I knew it was time to move, but it was a scary move!

    Again, I love this post. Its beautiful and so true. I am glad and grateful for where you are at in life! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s