today, i got to see my kids from mississippi, who i haven’t seen in like a year and a half. they are in town for the MLK Celebration that is taking place at Duke. they’ll be doing some workshops and stuff. i’m so excited about all of the stuff they are doing. the kids are so big now, and they have grown up so much. they are going to do GREAT things. to find out about my kids and the program, check out www.sunflowerfreedom.org. it’s an AWESOME program–it definitely changed my life.

because the kids were in town, i went to white rock with them, and the pastor preached from the purpose driven life series. it’s been a little over a year since i read the purpose driven life, and even then, i didn’t read it properly, so i decided to read it FOR REAL this time. anyhow, his sermon was based from the 12th chapter of the purpose driven life, which is about developing a friendship with god, and he took his scripture reference from the 4th chapter of james, verses 1-8. what stood out to me, from this passage was “…you do not have because you do not ask God. when you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures. you adulterous people, don’t you know that friendship with the world is hatred toward God. anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God…” (verses 2-4)

i don’t know why those verses spoke to me so much, but i do know that for this year, i have been desiring a closer relationship with god, and i was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed; even discouraged, because i hadn’t been following the plan that i had made exactly the way i wanted to. however, after today’s sermon, i realized that while it is important for me to read my bible and devotional every day, it’s also important that i spend time engaging in HONEST conversation with god. in addition to this, it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to be friends with god, if i don’t obey him (see John 15:14).

so…i got a lesson today, and i am BLESSED!

hymns that are inspiring me:

just as i am:

“Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, and that thou bidst me come to thee, O Lamb of God, I come, I come…Just as I am, thou wilt receive, wilt welcome, pardon, cleanse, relieve; because thy promise I believe, O Lamb of God, I come, I come… Just as I am, thy love unknown hath broken every barrier down; now, to be thine, yea thine alone, O Lamb of God, I come, I come.”

nearer my god to thee:

“Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee! E’en though it be a cross that raiseth me, still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to thee; nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!”

pass me not:

“Pass me not, O gentle Savior, hear my humble cry; while on others thou art calling, do not pass me by. Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry; while on others thou art calling, do not pass me by. Let me at thy throne of mercy find a sweet relief, kneeling there in deep contrition; help my unbelief. Savior, Savior, hear my humble cry; while on others thou art calling, do not pass me by.”

and the eternal favorite, amazing grace:

“Amazing grace! How sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me! I once was lost, but now am found; was blind, but now I see. ‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear, and grace my fears relieved; how precious did that grace appear the hour I first believed. Through many dangers, toils, and snares, I have already come; ’tis grace hath brought me safe thus far, and grace will lead me home.”

okay…i’m outtttttttttt

so it’s about to be time to start again. my LAST semester at carolina is rapidly approaching. my winter break will culminate with me working…and before you know it…it’ll be midway through the semester. i suppose that i am excited. the end of my college career and being on the brink of something new opens up an entirely different world to me- something far different from anything that i’ve ever encountered. i’m really about to be an adult…doing things that adults do…whatever that means, whatever that implies. i’ve always been confident in my ability to do things on my own and to do them well; however, as i get closer and closer to moving outside of my comfort zone here in academia and into the real world where real knowledge matters and i’ll have to deal with world problems instead of word problems- i wonder how prepared i am. i’ve always had the safety net of parents, grandparents, friends…but it’s about to me and god…nervous excitement.

despite all of my concerns, i’m sure that this semester will be one to remember. i’m expecting lots of fun, and i’m still expecting to meet people that will make me feel as if i’ve known them forever and who will make me wish that i’d have met them 6 or 7 semesters ago. my research with my econ 199 class is a source of great excitement, although the class itself can be a source of great frustration. i can’t wait to see what the end result will be. i’m also anticipating my acceptance letters from graduate school, as well as financial aid decisions that are so incredibly tight. i’m claiming that RIGHT now…cause god already knows how i feel about graduate school and stuff–so THANKS GOD FOR THE VICTORY!

i wouldn’t say that i’m really worried too much about this semester. my classes should be interesting. i’m kinda excited about learning to swim- although my goal is to get to the point where i can swim laps. people who do that are in GREAT shape. ahh…you gotta crawl before you walk. i am interested in seeing how things will turn out in terms of friendships and in terms of other relationships that have been forged with people. i am a firm believer that GOD is in control of everything…which is why i try my hardest not to worry- he’s got everything on lock. in addition, i thank god for every person who has been brought into my life, for every situation has helped me to learn and to grow and ultimately, to help me become who i am supposed to be in HIM.

so…pre last semester as a college student thoughts…i feel gooooooooooood 🙂