i don’t think that i have ever been this excited about a new year. church last night at world overcomers was really tight and i’m crunk that a lot of people that i’m close to all went to church last night as well. it’s a blessing to have friends who are close to god. as i discussed with someone today, there are such things as “unequally yoked friendships” and those are especially spiritually draining. people who are within your inner circle should be able to provide support and advice for you in christian love…and that can be difficult for them to do if they aren’t fully in the spirit.

one of the songs that was sung at church last night really spoke to me. the lyrics were pretty simple, and the message was clear: “the wait is over- walk into your season”. that’s so simple, but for me, it spoke volumes. i was waiting for my season, and i honestly feel like 2005 is going to be my year. god has blessed me with so much in 2004, and as the pastor said in church, it is time that we exhibit greater faithfulness, greater holiness, and greater commitment to the work of god’s kingdom. i’m trying to do all of that for this and i know that i will be successful. i’m more focused than ever and i’m entering into situations where i may not have anything to rely on but god. i pray for increase…i want god to do more for me, and that requires all of what i mentioned above: greater faithfulness, greater holiness, and greater commitment.

another thing that the pastor had us do at church that i thought was really tight was to have all of the married couples renew their vows and to have all of the single people participate in a singles covenant. one of the tightest things included in the singles covenant was the line, “just because i am single, doesn’t mean that i am not whole”. i felt like that was such an important point to make- a lot of times, it is easy to feel that being single isn’t important and that you aren’t complete unless you are with somebody else; but really, it’s GOD that makes us complete. i’ve often been frustrated at how marriage has been reduced to an everyday occurrence by popular culture with shows such as “the bachelor” and “the bachelorette”, to name a few. and still, looking back at my own engagement and realizing that there were things that are crucial to a marriage (such as each person’s individual relationship with GOD), i can still see how/why people would want to be in a relationship. there aren’t many things that exist now that encourage people being single. all that said, i felt that the aforementioned line from the singles covenant (“just because i am single, doesn’t mean that i am not whole”) is crucial for people to understand (i’m talking to myself also).

so…i’m definitely excited about the new year…and how can you NOT be excited about an impending college graduation (may 15, 2005). this year is going to be GREAT…i can feel it 🙂

this is a brief part of the spoken word piece that i performed at World Overcomers Christian Church at a talent show in early December…

this is my testimony

something i usually don’t share because people usually don’t care about the things i’ve overcome or the things i’ve had to bear

it’s usually about what you see or who you think i could be but not about what i am spiritually

but it’s been a long time coming…it’s been a long time coming

when my father wasn’t there, when my “friends” couldn’t be found, when i used the physical to make me emotionally sound;

when the money wasn’t there, when i had no reason to care, when my fear of facing god was more than i could bear;

when i had nothing to give, when i had no reason to live;

when i fell short time and time again, when i knowingly committed sin after sin;

when the reflection in the mirror wasn’t what i wanted to see, when i begged god to come in and change me

and i see i knew better.

i had always been the over-involved church kid.

i knew that in the beginning there was the word and the word was god.

but with all the knowledge i had gained over time, i couldn’t fix my mind to seek god to find the answers to the questions i was asking;

i couldn’t fix my mind to seek god to find the fulfillment for what my spirit and soul were lacking

but god found me.

in the midst of a mess, a test, a trial, a tribulation

in spite of all the mistakes i had been making, god continued to order the steps i was taking…

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there’s more to the piece…but the part above is, to me, the most critical part…it’s my story…