Is it even possible to manage your faith?  My thought is no- that your faith is/should be such an overwhelming aspect of your life that it, along with your convictions should dictate your decisions and dictate your life.

If only it were that easy.

I always find my faith to be just enough for where I am, but I have a hard time envisioning it to be enough for what I need, or where I want to go.  I have faith that God has a reason for me being in Florida.  I don’t feel that I have enough faith that God will place me at the right church, with the right people, and help me make the right friends that will make living in Florida worthwhile.

I feel like faith requires a certain diligence, that I honestly haven’t freely and consistently exhibited in this process.  I have visited churches regularly, but not consistently.  I have prayed regularly, but not consistently.  I have read the Bible regularly, but not consistently.  All that said, I’ve been consistently frustrated about not having a church home and feeling that my requests to God have been ignored.

Can I even do that?  Can I really be frustrated with God when I haven’t consistently done my part?  I don’t think so.

Essentially, I feel disconnected.  I can listen to as many pod casts of church services, blast gospel music in my car and on my Ipod, but without the fellowship of believers that a church provides, I feel in the dark.  Literally.

So, I guess the goal for now is to be consistent, be faithful, and to wait and EXPECT God to act.  And try to be encouraged in the process…

I grew up in an old-school, small, country Baptist church, and while we would sing hymns, we could usually be found singing just a few:  Pass Me Not, Blessed Assurance, What A Friend We Have in Jesus, I Know it Was the Blood…and a few others.  It wasn’t until I joined a Methodist church in college that I really learned some hymns.

Now, I know that my generation doesn’t usually appreciate hymns.  We usually lean more towards contemporary gospel or contemporary praise and worship.  Some of us really appreciate gospel hip-hop, and some listen to new-age christian or alternative praise and worship.  I’m part of a generation who has found unique ways to experience praise and worship through song.

Yet and still, there are some days that a hymn simply expresses the beauty of my love for Christ and the relationship that I continuously strive to grow in and maintain.  Lately, I’ve been listening to the following:

Come, Thou Fount of Every Blessing

“Jesus sought me when a stranger/Wandering from the fold of God/He to rescue me from danger/Interposed his precious blood…Oh to grace how great a debtor/Daily I’m constrained to be/Let Thy goodness, like a fetter/Bind my wandering heart to Thee/Prone to wander, Lord I feel it/Prone to leave the God I love/Here’s my heart, O, take and seal it/Seal it for thy courts above.”

My Faith Looks Up to Thee

“My faith looks up to Thee/Thou lamb of Calvary, Savior Divine!/Now, hear me while I pray, take all my guilt away/Oh, let me from this day be wholly Thine…/May Thy rich grace impart/Strength to my fainting heart, my zeal inspire!/As Thou has died for me, O may my love to Thee/Pure, warm, and changeless be, a living fire!”

I Surrender All

“All to Jesus, I surrender/All to Him, I freely give/I will ever love and trust Him/In His presence daily live/I surrender all, I surrender all/All to Thee, my blessed Savior/I surrender all.”

Jesus, Keep me Near the Cross

“Jesus keep me near the cross/There a precious fountain/Free to all a healing stream/Flows from Calvary’s mountain/In the cross, in the cross/Be my glory ever/Till my raptured soul shall find/Rest beyond the river.”

As I listen to these songs and I read the history, I’m so in awe of God…and by the fact that although many of these songs are way older than I am, they can still reach the masses.  God is not bound to generations.  The same God of Abraham, David, and Paul exists for me…and is the same today, tomorrow, and forever.  Amen.